In the Face of Darkness
by Daughter of the Black
Summary: Sonja muses to herself as she waits for death tied to the burning post.


Disclaimer: I do not own the Underworld franchise, and so on and so forth it belongs to its rightful creators.

A/N: After watching Sonja's death scene, I was struck by something odd. Sonja seemed unsure of what was to come, she seemed weak at the prospect of dying for love. This is what might have been going through her mind. (This is a new style for me, first person present story telling)

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I was my father's weakness. I was manipulative to be short. I think I have to be. My time is quickly coming to an end—the world is on the cusp of change.

It is my fault.

It started from the time I was a child, my mother died for me, and my father, Viktor replaced her with me in his affections. I took advantage of it, but he didn't mind. I got whatever I wished, jewels, money, slaves, humans, weapons. I had the freest leash of any I knew. The word 'no' never once passed my father's lips until recently.

I am a fool. I thought my father weak, I had visions of power. He spends too much time bargaining and making deals and too little acting. There is a threat, the descendants of William are out there, and they hunger for us.

I was praised my whole life, no one dared say a word ill of me. I was a paragon of power, a rewarded warrior and a sought after woman.

I was complacent.

I never knew fear until this moment. Oh god, I was going to die. I was so wrong, I have been so foolish.

Lives were sacrificed on my behalf. Every time I made some dim-witted move, reached too far beyond myself others had taken my place on death's doorstep. I had thought it was them that were foolish. I had never been condemned for my actions in lessons. I truly believed I was powerful, how wrong I have been.

In recent years I have become so much worse. It started as the attacks got worse. I became braver. I fought recklessly. I neglected my duties in favor for bathing in the blood of my enemies. My father became more upset with me, he could have taken me to heel, but he never did, and I tested the reign eagerly. I was scolded like pup, never harsh enough to stop me it only encouraged me.

It came down to Lucian. Maybe I love him, no, no, I didn't. I don't love him, I couldn't love him. If I did, if I could, I wouldn't fear death so much. I wouldn't be near tears staring up at my impending doom. I wouldn't be regretting what deeds I had done with the Lycan.

I can't look at him like he orders me to, the way he looks at me…oh god.

I did this. I did all of this. It is my fault.

It didn't have to end this way, but I had made so many mistakes. If I had been a good girl…I wouldn't be chained to the burning post unready to face the sun, my destroyer.

And here I was, ruminating over something I deserve while the man I used, who is under such a veil as to be blind to my selfish, cruel, vain ways, is to be killed after me. He is innocent and yet he will die because of me.

So many will.

If Lucian dies tonight, the Lycans will no doubt carry on his plans, taking revenge upon the vampires. If he lives, somehow, and I pray he does for he doesn't deserve death, he will hunt my father.

Neither will be able to live while the other does the same.

I fear I am the cause of a great war to come, a feud of blood between the Lycans and the Vampires. A feud I have little doubt will last past either of their lives.

It made my lungs heave. I had so little time left. I had done this, all of this. My childish ways will end countless innocent lives.

I am frozen in terror and guilt. I want to beg Lucian, my father, the clans, the world, any god that would listen, for forgiveness.

I don't deserve it. I deserve to live my last moments in guilt so heavy I wonder if it is the guilt or the sun that will kill me.

There it is the stinging heat of the sun upon my flesh. This is it. My last moment.

Turning my face upward I welcome my punishment. But is it really a punishment. I feel as though this is a mercy. I will not have to see the consequences of my actions. I will not have to live with this guilt. In a few seconds it all be, simply, gone. I will be gone.

I can't even scream, though I can hear Lucian doing so. Screaming would be a comfort something to defy the pain. I deserve no comfort and I will no longer defy anything.

The last I am aware of is a heat deep in my core before…

-THE END-

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I know that many of you will disagree with me on the ideas I presented, but Sonja to me did not seem like a truly innocent, loving girl. She seemed to have a rather dark intimation towards a spoilt child at heart. Review either way, I'd like to know your thoughts. Perhaps you agree, and perhaps you disagree with my imaginings. Hope you enjoyed.


End file.
